He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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