nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
