I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
