I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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