Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Randomize