Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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