i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
