Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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