I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
