he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
