you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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