As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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