Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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