Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
