Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
