Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
