HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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