my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
