You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
