yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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