he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
