Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
