my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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