remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude. I can hear the air.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
