Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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