I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
