Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
