used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Panties = found
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