my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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