I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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