So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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