38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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