we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
