i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
