Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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