toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
