yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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