I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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