worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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