I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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