just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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