i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Come share oat with me in your robe
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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