Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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