do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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