you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
