Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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