Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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