My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
how drunk are you?
Several
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
