when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
