So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
