Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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