i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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