nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
