Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just cut my nipple shaving
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
