You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
