all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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