Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
