Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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