Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
